The Daily Toilings Of A Part Time Stay At Home Mom

I am entitling this post "The things kids say...and do" simply because today was a real winner.  I decided fairly early in the morning that I wanted to venture out of our cave and enjoy some human interaction (i.e. shopping).  Lets not get things twisted, I knew it would blow but I just could not stay put for another second. To kick the day off my son went up to get dressed.  About four hours later he appears in front of me wearing what I presume to be his coming home from the hospital outfit.  I swear the kid was wearing a size 3 months...not actually but at least a 24 month and he is in a 4-5T.  This is what I like to call a "motherhood failure".  He is in these clothes because of my shitty mothering.  I F-ing hate to clean out their drawers and closets.  It is AWFUL.  First off,  you are throwing clothes that you bought two months ago into garbage bags and lastly because who wants to get rid of the cute little things they wore when...

A while back  I had mentioned  that while I was living in "dirty, dirty Marlborough" as Dad so fondly called it, a neighbors son had relieved himself from his bedroom window onto my grill.  I know this because I stood there and watched him do it.  Me.  The one who has no issue with confrontation, hand to hand combat, or telling somebody where to stick it.  Boy am I glad that I just smiled and watched him give it the triple shake at the end because here he is now... 2 held without bail after Marlborough raid yields guns, drugs . Now I hope you clicked that link because if you did there is a photo of the lovely young man.  The one with the braids was the urinator.  Just to think I shared a wall with him.  Rested my weary head after long days of work and listened to him BLAST his turn table until wee morning hours.  Never once did I call the police or even give a dirty look at the mailbox.  Boy am I glad now.  I could...

I have a confession to make.  I can not wait till both of my kids are in school.  Not preschool, REAL school.  The kind that lasts more then 35 minutes and also provides transportation.  Right now Noah is technically in "preschool".  That is where I pay money for him to basically stay home with me.  No joking, he has been in school for 3 days in the last 3 weeks.  First it was winter vacation.  Then a illness brought on by the fact that 4 year old's are walking petri dishes full of rotavirus.  Today, it is Martin Luther King day.  So for the past month I paid the school district so that I could watch my own kid destroy my house and tear down my last bits of sanity. On days were Noah does have school he gets dropped off by me at 8:30 am.  When I say 8:30 I MEAN 8:30.  The teachers stand behind the doors of the school watching us in our cars as the children jump around the vehicle from the front seat to the back, putting t...

This week I get to have the house, kids, chickens, dog, wood stove, snow removal, trash removal, and nightly meltdowns all to myself.  Yes, Dov is away for work and I get to captain the ship solo.  Not that Dov is on vacation or anything...but he might as well be as far as I am concerned.  I would do just about anything if I got to do it alone. I  just need to get away from this damn house!  How could it be any worse then the chores that need to be done here with the two leeches hanging off me. For example, Sunday the day Dov left, I had my parents here.  While we were meandering around the yard I happened to notice that there was a exponential amount of dog crap in the yard.  Guess I haven't been keeping up with that part of dog ownership?  Well it didn't bother me till I had guests jumping over dog bombs all over the yard like a mine field.  So out to the yard I went with the shovel and bucket in hand.  Now the two children are out ...

I was looking at pictures last night and was slightly amazed at how much my babies changed in the first several years of life.  You can not tell what your child will look like the moment they are born or even a year after...I think it is somewhere around the fourth year of life that you can start to see just what your child might look like as a adult.  Here are my examples. Noah (birth to 4 years) Here Noah is exactly 20 minutes old. 1 month old 3 1/2 months old 7 months old 9 months 10 months 1 year old 2 years old 3 years old  4 years old.  ;) Isabella, just shy of 2 years. (birth to now) 5 minutes old 2 weeks old Almost 2 months 4 months old 5 months 6 months old 1 year old 13 months  1 1/2 years old. ????

Lets see.  How did I start smoking...I remember clear as day.  All throughout high school you could not have met a bigger anti-smoking advocate.  If I found a friend smoking the ration of shit that followed would scare them into the closet, and then their car would forever smell of Yankee candle car spray and stale nicotine.  Or they would just deal with the annoying barrage of insults thrown their way about the smell, the cancer, the yellow teeth etc.  I was the girl who cried, "I grew up with a smoker and it is disgusting and nasty and blah blah blah." Still a smoking virgin here. Fast forward to a breakup, graduating high school, and the impending move away from family and friends for college.  Those were the ingredients I needed to make my excuse that I wanted, slash that, NEEDED a cigarette.  The first pack of "butts" were amazing.  It was like a legal buzz.  The light headed feeling, the low hum in your ears, the impending lack ...

I ventured out to do a few last minute Christmas shopping errands today and realized in short order that staying away from the holiday craziness would be better.  So back home I went to deck the house out with flamboyant Christmas decor.  I swagged, bowed, collected, twisted, cut, twirled and hunted birch bark...with a little help from Mr. Noah.  Yes I have that kind of time people.  Time spent doing crafts for our home with my kids is time NOT wasted.  They love the little jobs as much as I love looking at our finished products.  Noah collects pine cones and searches for the BESTEST birch limb and I cut evergreens and twist wire...it is good people...real good. We also have decided to reclaim our downstairs.  ALL THE TOYS HAVE BEEN BANISHED TO THE SPARE BEDROOM.  Does that mean that they play up there?  No.  What it actually means is that I spend lots of time lugging toys back upstairs after they are done playing with it down here. ...