Friday, August 5, 2011

Neurotic dogs and children

This morning was pretty much shit.  It started off by heading to the bank to activate my new debit card which obviously had been "compromised" in some way so they sent me a new one.  Well I have Alzheimer's I haven't used my debit card in so long that I had totally forgotten the PIN number.  That calls for a trip into the bank with both kids.  Fun.  Kidding.  Total nightmare.  It would not be so bad if my daughter didn't insist on taking off her shoes and socks EVERY SINGLE TIME we get in the car.  So after getting her shoes back on, making sure I have all the stuff I will need in the bank and getting my son not to run into the middle of the parking lot, we start to make our way into the bank.  I must have been half asleep to think that my neurotic dog would be OK with me leaving his sight for more then 30 seconds. I had barely made it to the door of the bank when he starts FREAKING OUT!  Jumping from the back seat to the front seat, clawing at the window like he would never see us again.  I would have loved to leave him at home for this 5 minute errand but that is even more pathetic with him urinating all over himself and crying in the garage. 
I go running back to the car because now I am afraid he will kill himself trying to climb out of the window.  As I approach my car I could already smell the coffee.  Inside I died a little.  When I opened the door there was literally coffee, from my travel mug, everywhere.  In the speakers, all over the console, the seats, the floor, even the ceiling sustained injury.  That was about the end of my rope and it was only 9:30 in the morning. 
I don't know if anyone has had a dog that literally follows you every single place that you go but if you have PLEASE I am begging for help.  What is wrong with this dog???  I mean if I go up 3 stairs he comes up 21/2 and then will sit...I mean literally sit, waiting for me.  I trip over him at least 50 times a day.  I have not used the bathroom without his companionship since the minute we brought him home.  He is so needy it scares me.  It is so bad that if he is taking a dump and I start to take a step he will clench the dump to see if your about to take off!  I see some little improvements since we got him but VERY FEW. 
Bella's one of those gross full mouth kissers.  You know the kind...way too much tongue.  ick
He is terrific with the kids though so he definitely has that going for him.  Bella and him have quite a bit in common with the whole stage 5 clinger thing.  They have bonded over that shared disability.  Here are a few shots of the two neurotics making out and enjoying one anothers CONSTANT companionship.

Even Tahoe finds her level of neediness excessive

Really chick.

He was left with no choice but to surrender.

When she was done tormenting the dog she turned her attention to me.  UH OH pathetic face.

And Tahoe got right down to business.

1 comment:

  1. I love your blog. My kids are 8 and 9, and although the insanity has evolved into something a little different, I remember the days you're having like yesterday. Thanks for making me laugh out loud!