Showing posts from June, 2011

Chickens eat their own poop and other awesome facts.

On the chicken front things are looking much less cute these days.  Feathers are replacing fluff, clucking is replacing tweets, and they poop...a lot, and lay in it, and eat it, uggggg.  I wasn't really a fan of scrambled eggs before we got the chickens, probably because egg collecting was left to me as a child and I remembered the poop being stuck all over the eggs, but now it is because I know their diet consists of grain and their own dumps.  Sooooo if you want eggs you will know where to call 'cause I ain't eating them.  I'll buy the bleached ones from the grocery store....just kidding but ewww... for real people. You want to know what sucks more then poopy eggs...well do ya?  Painting.  The railing on the porch hadn't been painted in like years so the other day I started and you know whatever Shelly starts Dovey finishes.  Looks nice huh?  Too bad that's just the first half.

There's the rest.  Yeah the porch is going to be needing a vinyl railing when th…

Not for the faint of heart...or stomach.

This morning was supposed to be a great one.  Noah started his summer class and me and Bell were going to enjoy some girl time, planting some flower boxes, playing in the pool, and maybe even a cat nap.  After dropping Noah off I wanted to get a car wash so I drove to the closest one and got in line.  As I waited I look into the backseat to see if Bell was asleep.  Not a second after I look back she projectile vomits all over the place.  So much for a car wash.

I fly home, gagging from the smell of rotten milk, yogurt and fruit that was the contents of Bella's breakfast.  Get her out of the car which means you are elbow deep in vomit.  Not the little baby formula kind but more like what a grown persons vomit looks like.  Run a bath and get her all clean.  Now it is time to tackle the car.  It is quite warm this morning so the smell is magnified.  Let me just say, the car seats today are a complete pain in the ass, both to put in a car and to take out.  There are buckles, clips, an…


ME TOO! ME TOO!  Has become the mantra in the Jaffe household.  No matter what any one INDIVIDUAL person is doing, the rest of the family is all "ME TOO ME TOO ME TOO!!!!!"  I hate it.  I expect it out of Noah, and he comes through quite often but who I didn't expect it from is my husband.  He comes in at a close second to Noah with the ME TOO's.

"What are you doing?  I want to come!"
"What are you eating?  Can I have some!"
"Oh...can I have a sip of your drink?"  blah blah blah

He doesn't always use the ME TOO but it is, in general, the same thing.

I have seen instances were Noah will be in the living room watching T.V and he will hear me start unwrapping a teething cookie for Bella.  He will pause the movie, fly off the couch, start running into the kitchen, fall and smash his head on the floor, jump up and scream, "what are you crinkling, I hear a package!!! What is it?  ME TOO ME TOO!" 

Most often it applies to food bu…

Yes I am the mental person you saw at Target.

I drive a Hyundai Elantra.  A very impractical car for a mother with two children.  The reason that I drive this particular car is because I am impulsive and impatient.  Well maybe I was just done with being the only one out of all my friends that was still driving a car bought off of Craigslist.  That and the whole wondering if this might be the year they fail your cars inspection due to the deadly rust in the wheel wells.  Prior to the purchase of my economy size car I was driving a 1995 Toyota Camry station wagon with a hood that was missing 80% of it's paint and well we already covered the rust.  All in all it was a decent car and had plenty of room for all the baby paraphernalia.  When I was driving this vehicle I only had one child and started to feel like maybe I didn't need to be driving such a "mom" car. 

So fast forward.  We move to Virginia and the whole cash for clunkers is in FULL EFFECT.  I had been begging and pleading for a new whip for a while so Do…

Drinkies and collage making is fun

I saw this idea on Kelle Hampton's amazing blog yesterday and since Noah is home for one more week I was dying for an idea to keep him occupied.  Now granted this was a blast for me and hubby last night after six  a few nightcaps it was not nearly as fun this morning when I attempted it with Noah.  Lets just say there is Modge Podge ALL OVER the kitchen.  As soon as he had a hefty dose of the stuff all over his hands, hair and table, he was all done and wanted to do something else.  Never mind that he only actually glued one picture to the frame.  As I said previous, me and hubs spent the better part of the evening, after the kids went to bed, scouring magazines for cute sayings and pictures.  By about 11pm Dov was extricating things like "urine and feces" and "fish taco" so I decided that it was probably bedtime.  I strongly recommend trying this craft project with your significant other since we had a better time doing this than we have had doing anything in…

Having a big brother must rock

The Keyes Park Crew My kiddos have been extremely lucky the past few days.  They have had the chance to be spoiled by both Grammies.  Saturday into Sunday Dov's mother was here to watch the kids, in which Noah was spoiled so much that he acts like a baby again...even asking to wear a bib at dinner?!  Oh I know, Grammies are allowed to dote on the grand babies but the glorious let down when the Grammy leaves and Mom starts making the rules again.  HAHAHAHA, oh it is evil. The catch being that today my mother came up so Noah's transition back into reality was delayed by one more day.  We went shopping at my fave spot, the Dollar Tree then over to Target to return all the wrong sized shorts that I bought for all the Dads in my life and then we even braved lunch at Unos and a trip to the park. 
It was at the park that the glaring personality differences in my two children become evident.  Noah runs right to the play structure, finds the first kid he sees and asks him if he wants t…

Fathers day plumbing project and a big DISLIKE

Saturday the Hubs and I attended the wedding of my eldest cousin Andrew.  It was a beautiful wedding and also gave us a chance to catch up with the McLean side of the family.  I think all families have one side that they see more then the other.  In my family my mothers side is the party planners, the lively crew, the ones that like to BBQ.  Dad's family is more subdued, a little more reclusive, still a hoot when you finally see them but not the type to plan a impromptu cookout and let loose very often.  This often means that before a event where they will all be there I feel a level of anxiety.  It is always for nothing because once we get down to talking there is always laughs and a good time to be had.

Sista has a big nog

June 28th can not get here fast enough.  Noah will be starting his summer program and I can start to regain a little sanity.  I am becoming so desperate for activities for him and Bella that he can convince me to do almost anything and that even includes taking him to go get ice cream at 1 in the afternoon...not that he had to twist my arm too hard. 

It started out with a lovely trip to my second least favorite place on earth, Walmart.  I struggle through the masses all the while continuously grabbing my daughters legs and pushing her into the sitting position so that she doesn't plummet to the floor and get her second concussion in as many months.  I think between Noah's broken leg and Bella's toss down the stairs we are about one incident away from a complete CPS investigation.  All through the store Bella screams and cries while Noah repeats over and over, "see how good I am mom!  My sister is being SO NAUGHTY and I am being SO GOOD!"  By the time I get all t…

The peeping package and cutting bangs with dull scissors

It is raining.  AGAIN.  I am slowly going crazy and so decided to break the cardinal female hair rule.  I cut my own bangs in a moment that I was feeling a little emotional.  Yes, emotional.  I was feeling old and saw what appears to be WRINKLES in my forehead!  LOP LOP LOP and off comes 2 years of hard work.  Two years of weird side bangs and 4000 headbands.  Two years of 6 trillion bobby pins and hours of blow drying.  Yes they were finally the same length as my hair and I CHOPPED them off with very dull scissors that I found in the pencil cup in the kitchen, classy I know. 
You know what though, this is not the first time that I have broken this rule.   A week before my wedding I also thought that I might want some bangs and the oblivious hairdresser actually said it was a great idea and cut me some bangage.  Now they weren't terrible but as with any drastic haircut you need more then a week to mentally get use to looking at yourself with bangs.  I spent that week before my wedd…

Bluff charge and the bear whisperer.

Noah obviously enjoys his new airplane from the Dollar Store.  In the hour that he tossed it around the yard there was only one expression on his face.  I suspect it to be childhood concentration but it looks like adult constipation.

This thing was worth all 100 pennies and truth be told Noah bought it for himself with all the money he has made getting himself dressed in the morning.  Hey if he wants to wear a pajama shirt, jeans, and his wubba (rubber) shoes that is fine by me.  I have enough people to get dressed in this house.  One down one to go.   I love that a dime is enough to get him to do just about anything, from getting dressed to Swiffer sweeping the house.  Ten cents is as good as offering him twenty bucks.  Pretty sweet gig I got going on here.

In other news my packet from the Fish and Game Department came yesterday.  If you don't know why I would need such information you can catch up here.

Yup there it is.  Some real pearls in here guys.  Lets see, for starters they …