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Showing posts from May, 2011

Sick kids and how to be a jerk off at Walmart

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I have a sick little girl on my hands today.  There is nothing I hate more then when one of my kids is sick.  It is especially bad when they don't talk yet and you have to play detective to find out what is wrong with them.  I didn't have to try to hard this time since it was obvious that little Bell had gone and gotten herself a real nice summer cold fully equipped with a phlegmy cough, watery eyes and enough snot to sink a ship.  She is just miserable which leads to two things.  One,  is a very cranky, whiny, unhappy baby that wants to be held CONSTANTLY and two is LONG naps.  Without the long naps the awake time would be unbearable.  Nothing would get done.  I mean NOTHING.  A 30 pound baby girl on your hip like dead weight with her head on your shoulder soaking your shirt with boogies doesn't lend itself well to housework.  Nap time today has allowed for me to exhaust myself blowing up a kiddie pool, hang out a few loads of laundry, and make some mean potato salad.  Oh…

No good deed goes unpunished.

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No good deed goes unpunished, isn't that the saying?  Today's trip to Lyndeborough for their Memorial Day parade was a good example of that.  Maybe it was the fact that it was a little too hot out for the kids or maybe it was the fact that Lyndeborough's idea of a parade is a little off by today's standards.  To call it a disaster would be overstating it but to call it a bad idea would be reasonable.  I should have known when we pulled into town and the only store was this.  The Village Store, a village is not a city, not a town, it is a village.  I think the population is close to zero.  There were approximately 15 people on the sides of the road when we pulled into the village.  I was a little surprised since we only had about 10 minutes till the parade was about to kick off.  I heard the drums start and the kids settled in to see all the hoopla.  The thing was that there was absolutely NO hoopla to be had.  Even the fire truck didn't wail on the siren.  I mean w…

Did you know you can get poison ivy in your thoat? You do now.

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Here are some things that make me say the F word.  Mostly in anger but sometimes in awe.
Poison Ivy-This shit is terrible.  I remember it as a kid but I swear it has gotten worse.  My husband spotted some in a overgrown garden on our property border a couple of weeks ago.  Saturday he went out with gloves on and started to pull it up by the roots.  This is what all our Google research informed us was the best, most effective method to get rid of it for good.  Long story short, within hours he had swollen glands and a pretty bad sore throat, not to mention a nice itchy rash on his wrist/forearm.  Oh and to top it off, the next morning who wakes up with poison ivy all over her stomach???  ME!  I didn't touch the damn stuff and I still manage to get it.  So now I walk around itching myself like a crazy lunatic all day.  We still have poison ivy.  I am buying the spray...screw it...I don't care if it is toxic to frogs.  Poison ivy is toxic to me.Why is it that your kids could be pe…

Things that make me go awwwww.

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I am going to brag a bit...I have the sweetest husband ever!  As mentioned in my last post, Dov put together Noah's play set this past weekend.  Along with that we did a little limb removal on the giant catalpa tree in our yard, the tree that Noah's tire swing hangs on.  I watched him chainsaw off a few large branches on Saturday but what I didn't see was this. Love it.  At least while the mosquito's eat me alive as I endlessly push Noah on the swing, I can glance up and see that. 

Since it is finally NOT raining we decided that we would lunch outside.  Good times. 
Noah decided that Bell needed some help finishing her goldfish.  This led to the collapse of our carefree yard luncheon.  Also I am now just waiting for Bell to get a foot to the head as she prances back and forth in front of the swing set while Noah swings.  I can't think of a better excuse for Noah to give Bell a good swift kick across the yard.  So Now I just scream "WATCH OUT BELLA""WA…

The baby broke my nose.

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Have you ever been headbutted by a large headed child before?  Have you had that giant baby head, all excited and playful, come slamming right into your nose?  It will fill your body with the most conflicting emotions you will ever have.  For a minute you will want to punch a baby.  You won't do it, but as tears well in your eyes and blood starts trickling from your nose your baby will look at you laughing and poke you right were it hurts.  For the love of motherhood there is nothing more painfully fustrating as that.  It means that playtime is going to meet a abrupt end and the child will be crying and so will you.  Moving on because just thinking about it brings back feelings that a "good" mother should not have.
Sorry I busted you in the face mom.  I let the excitement take over and my head got away from me.

In other news we got a call Sunday morning from Grammy Constance, Dov's mother, and she had a friend that was going to trash a wooden playset that her children…

Pink Flamingos with umbrella cocktails? I'm getting one.

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Today marks the fifth straight day of rain.  I dropped Noah off at school and headed to Savers in Nashua.  If  you don't know what Savers is let me enlighten you.  It is like a Salvation Army/Goodwill that is a little cleaner, more organized, and has enough shopping carts.  Anyone that has shopped at a Salvation Army knows that you have to damn near claw somebodies eyes out to get a carriage.  Even then it is some Market Basket cast off with one wheel that doesn't touch the ground and another that makes a high pitch squealing noise.  This is great when you are a kid though because no matter where your mother tries to hide you will find her.
I know a lot of people would not be caught dead at a second hand store but I was raised on second hand stuff, be it from the Salvation Army or the cousins.  So this morning, in light of absolute boredom, I decided to make a trip and see what Savers had in store.  Honest to God the first thing I saw was this. Of course I had to get it for $2.0…

Diary of a mad white woman

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This weather is killing me.  I LOATH it.  I am sick of cooking, cleaning, and laundry.  I am sick of the kids.  Plain sick of it I tell ya.  But since we are bored, I have been cooking, here was breakfast.  The kids hated them.  Yup, shit you not.  Noah just wanted Cheerios.  When will I learn?
Here is a fantastic jump in topics for you...old diary's...DON'T READ THEM!  I have a few from the last couple of years that are fine to look back on, mostly because the stuff in there is pretty current and if it needs to be dealt with the statue of limitations is still in your favor.  That and for some reason I think I have learned to write things down without such raw and unadulterated language as I've gotten older...I must have simmered down some in my old age. My sister graced me with my diary relic this past weekend while I was down visiting my parents.  We are driving home after getting a coffee and she starts telling me about this diary that is up in my old closet.  She then t…

Power washing and Pit bulls

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Power washing.  This had serious potential for knocking lawn mowing off my favorite chore list. That was until we realized that although extremely satisfying and enjoyable we much prefer running water in the house.  Yes, we drained the well power washing everything in sight.  How can you not get carried away?  Our 10 year old deck looks brandy new!  The vinyl siding is gleaming white and the laundry will not have to get done today because there is no water!  Fine by me...since I was smart enough to shower first.  I win.   We learned a valuable lesson about wells and power washers but boy did we have fun. 

Saturday was spent with the power washer but Sunday was spent cooped up inside due to crap weather.  Around noon I decided that we needed to go for a ride.  Mostly because I thought I might lock the children in the garage if they did not stop running circles around the downstairs trying to out screech one another.  The ride landed us at the Nashua Animal Rescue league.  As we entere…

I don't give my baby botox but I do let her eat dandelions in the yard.

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We have a slight dandelion situation in my yard.  I offered to pay Noah 5 cents for every dandelion he plucked.  I soon went broke and called off the deal.  Bella on the other hand decided that instead of cashing her dandelions in she would eat them.  Good thing I saw them at the grocery store the other day and now know that someone got so angry at those bastardly things one day that they decided to eat them...and they didn't die.  Now they cost 2.99 a bunch at Market Basket.  I think I just found my work from home job...I will sell dandelion greens.  Not.  I want them poisoned as soon as I have enough money for Scott to come over and do the job.
So when child labor wasn't going to work out I fixed the problem with a good mow.  I LOVE mowing the lawn.  There is something so soothing about the predictability, the back and forth, the instant gratification of your hard work, the smell of cut grass, the sound of a lawnmower drowning out the children's voices so I can just be in…

The Fabulous Misses Fox...is a beginning to become an A-hole.

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The fox has gone from a mystical and beautiful creature to public enemy number one.  Since the first day I spotted the pups, so adorable and playful on the side of the road ten yards from my front door, they have grown into slightly smaller versions of the mother and father fox but with the vocal restraint of a toddler.  They cry and yelp and moan allllll night long.  It is not a mystical or beautiful noise they make either, it is a painful, horrid cry that is only slightly less annoying then a actual toddler lying in your room at night yelling, crying and carrying on. 

The first night that I heard it I was still enamored with the adorable little pups so I grabbed my husband and a flash light and ran down the street at 10 pm to see if one of them had been hit by a car.  Silly me, because if I had known that this was just the start of their endless night time bellyaching you can bet it would not have been a flashlight I would have grabbed.
Now that the pups are getting bigger mama fox…

Mothers Day

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Mothers Day
A pictorial tribute to all the amazing women we call Great Grandmothers, Grandmothers, and Mothers.