Thursday, September 1, 2011

Hi! Is this Poison Control?

We just officially finished our poison watch for this evening.  My daughter thinks that she needs to take years off my life by eating any and all berries that grow in the yard.  Tonight it was Lily of the Valley, an extremely toxic berry that basically slows down your respiratory system within a hour after ingestion and leads to certain death.  I don't know how to get her to understand that just because daddy walks around picking grapes, blueberries, and raspberries doesn't mean that EVERY berry is edible.  SHE DOESN'T TALK.  And like all children, even if she did talk she wouldn't listen so I am resigned to helicoptering over her at all times...which sucks.  Tonight she was on daddies watch when she decided to have a poisoness appetizer...there I said was HIS FAULT.  Well not really...sister is mad quick with her naughtiness.

This little girl is nuts though.  She will eat ANYTHING.  I thought that Noah was a good eater but she can eat him under the table.  Buffalo wings...sure...raw onion...give it to me...inedible poison berry...why not?  That's not all though, she loves to stack wood.  Cripes she is better at it them me!  I can't keep her away from the wood pile.  It doesn't matter that there is a sand box, swing set and tricycle at her disposal...she wants to work.  And eat (even tried to eat the wood).  I girly her up with pink and tutus but it just doesn't work.  She rips off her sparkly barbie sneakers and walks around barefoot heaving logs as heavy as her onto the wood stack.  If you don't believe me take a look. 
Told you...she will eat ANYTHING.  Or at least try.
Whaaaa?  I'm tryin to work here.  Cuties.
***Pause playlist to hear our awesome parenting***

Now this might look like horrible parenting but I have given up trying to police this crap anymore.  Between the barn and all the barn tools, the garage and all the garage tools, the wood and and all the wood tools it is a NEVER ENDING BATTLE trying to not let the kids kill themselves.  This is how I have chosen to look at it...I grew up in the same environment and I survived-- so have at it kids.  Survival of the fittest.  And if you are wondering what it is that Noah comes out of the barn weilding, it is a weed plucker fully equipped with two pointy prongs on the end.  Yes we took it away so relax.  But this is a pretty typical day in the life.  Thank god it's almost the weekend.  Oh wait, that doesn't mean crap.  These kids aren't going anywhere.  Oh well.

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