Tuesday, September 6, 2011


Couple of random thoughts

*Craigslist is full of people that should be shot at point blank range.  If you say you are coming to pick something up that is going to require the help of 3 men and also re -arrangement of the entire basement and then you fail to show up and call three hours after you were supposed to arrive and say, "ummm can I come tomorrow?"  I have the right to kick you in the privates when you get here.  Not to mention that we RUSHED back from Massachusetts to be here you jack ass.

*For some reason lately I take EVERYTHING EXTREMELY PERSONAL.  I don't know why but I have always been a little this way but now it seems that I am  A LOT this way.  I go home and stew on things for weeks and get angrier and angrier...sounds healthy right?

*My kids make me nuts and I dream of going back to work on a CONSTANT basis.  I swear Suzy homemaker is needing a serious overhaul.

*My washing machine smells horrible.  What the hell should I do?  Bleach and vinegar are not working and I want to puke when I open it.  If you just thought in your head..."buy a new one."  Send me the money and I will.

*Sometimes I think I like crock pots but really I think that most stuff that comes out of them tastes like a bland soupy mess.  Unless it has BBQ sauce in it, take it out of the crock pot.  Your ruining it.

*Target diapers are better then Pampers, Huggies, Luvs and most certainly Market Basket brand.  I bought some Luvs last week and have had to change my daughters sheets EVERY morning since.

*Someone once said that the human body goes through a large change every 7 years...Is that true?  I don't know but sometimes I wonder about that.  Maybe it was just some weird dream I had and nobody really told me that?.  Who knows.

*I hate driving.  I really hate driving at night.  I also hate when I am in the car and someone else is driving.  Wow that's a toughie.  Gotta get to work on that.  I think it has something to do with the fact that if we crash at least I will know it is coming if I am in the drivers seat.  Who knows maybe it is just a idiosyncrasy.

*I worry about running out of gas.  A unnatural amount.  I have done it since I was a child.  I have never run out of gas.  The worrying works I guess.

*When your husband almost kills himself cutting down a tree you probably shouldn't get mad at him but holy hell if he left me alone up here with chickens, a dog, and two kids I would dig him up and kill him again.  I swear I would.

*Just because your married to a women who's father cuts trees down for a living does not make you awesome at it.  It probably makes you less awesome at it due to the confidence gained from doing groundwork twice.  Not a good plan.  I think we are going to leave tree work to the professionals from now on.

*My daughter has Pica (urge to eat non-food substances).  She eats anything she sees.  It was poison berries one night and the very next it was dandruff shampoo.  WTH is wrong with her.  Does shampoo really taste good.  You would think that once she got a taste she wouldn't want any more.  Not her.  She wanted it back.  She also tried to eat my diamond earings.  Crazy girl.

*Noah is a little too smart for his own good.  When caught saying "shit" yesterday after dropping his grapes on the floor...he looks at me and says "Mom.  I said orchard."  Complete with exasperated sigh like I was really soft.  Operation manipulation has begun. 

*My dog barked ALLLL NIGHT last night.  I seriously wanted to kill him.  I have a splitting headache and am exhausted and he is sleeping with his paws over his head right next to me.  I have half a mind to step on him when I get up.

*I haven't had a cigarette in 9 months.  Go me.

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