Thursday, October 27, 2011

You sound like a truck driver and other things people have said to me.

Dov and I had a discussion last night that went sorta like this, "Why do people assume that I am a hard ass when I am soooo not.  I mean I am WAY nicer then most of the people I know.  I go out of my way to be nice to people who totally deserve a punch in the face."  Dov responds.  "See."  So yeah, I guess he has a point but cripes it's a little concerning that a label that got tossed on you in high school can follow you right into adulthood.  So what if I am a little blunt, at least I am not boring.  I would rather be ANYTHING then a boring person.  Even if that means that people get the wrong idea about me. This all led to a night of mind racing.  Always a good end to the day.

So around 3 am I came to the conclusion that maybe it is the short thing.  I am like majorly short.  Five foot on a good day.  So I talk louder and add a couple expletives in there now and again just so if you missed me in the crowd at least you might hear me somewhere in there.  That, and in my family, the louder you talk the louder everybody else talks, so unless you are also gesturing wildly with your hands and using swear words nobody can hear you.  Sounds awful right?  Hey, like I said, at least it's not boring.  So maybe it is all the loud talking and gesticulating that gets people assuming that I am difficult or maybe it is this...they are all assholes and I am perfect.  Yup that is what I will chalk it up too.  I seem to be doing alright for a prick.  Better then some of the "nice" people I know.

In other news Noah is funny and adorable about 10% of the time.  Making it a exhaustive task to spend the day with him while he tortures the dog and his sister while occasionally saying hilarious things.  But then I get his school picture and boy do I make good looking kiddies.  This one is a stunner.  Look at that popped collar...kid is a stone cold stud.  And from the report I got from his latest play date, he is just like his Mama.  When in a struggle over something with somebody else and you are already the physical underdog just yell out ASSHOLE loudly, preferably while gesturing manically with your hands.

Don't get your panties in a twist.  I don't condone swearing and believe me when I tell you that it has gotten me into plenty of hot water in my nearly 31 years.  It just really makes me feel better when I do it.  They recently did a poll about the effect that swearing had on people.  They wanted to know if they felt worse or better about a situation after they had used a swear and the overwhelming majority claimed that yelling the F bomb once in awhile really helped to relieve tension.  Now when you yell it at someone that is bit different, but if you stub your toe and scream out MOTHERF$%^ER! you immediately feel the pain dissipate.  Believe me, I have a doctorate in trucker mouth.  So there you have it.  A weird post about nothing in particular.

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