Wednesday, April 4, 2012

That table is perfect for blow.

On Monday I made a trip to Target for diapers and checked out with almost 200 dollars worth of...what I lovingly call CRAP.  Well I won't say it was all crap just yet because I scored a little table for 30 bucks marked down from 100.  So what if the first thing my husband asked me when he saw it was if I wanted to get some blow.  I was damn sick of him thinking I was trying to put the moves on every time I leaned over him to get a tissue or put my glasses on the  nightstand which was on HIS side of the bed.  I wanted a night table and damn it I got one.  It was the only table I have seen that was small enough and low enough and cheap enough for our slanted ceiling bedroom.
The blue light bulb is a mistake.  Damn LED lights. Although it cast a glow that sorta makes you look like a corpse in the dark soooo that is not creepy at all right?

Also, Dov and I have started a little love affair with Amherst Earth Materials and spend pretty much all our free time and money buying mulch, compost, pea stone and such.  We are both COVERED in poison ivy and my hands are as callused as a mans so I am hoping the yard looks freaking awesome because I sure don't.  A few of the projects going at the moment are as follows.
If you look REALLY hard you can see the bench and start of the garden.  Right in front of the forsythia.
The little box was our previous "garden."  This will now serve as a herb garden? Maybe?  We'll see.
Gotta have the fire poking stick.  There is nothing this drunk girl likes more then messing with the fire!
  • Raised garden bed-finally decided that if we are going to pretend to be farmers we should at least upgrade our 3x3 lettuce bed into something a little more substantial.
  • Pea-stone path through this ridiculous little island that use to house some sort of fish killing pond.  This island is a work in progress.  The little dogwood will tie it together if it ever decides to grow bigger then 2 feet.  Oh and I decide to thatch and plant some 'real' grass.  
  • Updated fire pit.  The original one was started on a drunken whim and was made out of cinder blocks we found lying beside the barn.  Lo and behold we used the pit so much all the blocks cracked.  This time we dug it out and made it look "ghetto professional" or probably more "back woods fancy".
The poison.  Of the Ivy variety.  I will not disclose the body parts you are seeing but just know...I am VERY FUCKING ITCHY. And it has spread all the way down my back. You would think I rolled around in the crap.  It is gawd awful.  Dov is recuperating with steroids and I am starting to think I might give in and take the water weight if it means I can stop itching myself inappropriately every single place I go.

Dov's calamine covered rash.


Some cuteness to balance the nasty above.








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